Lion and Lamb
by PrincessChubbyCheeks
Summary: As Hak leaned against the wrong side of her bedroom door, he wondered when he'd become such a masochist. Oneshot AU.


Title: Lion and Lamb

Rating: T

Summary: As Hak leaned against the wrong side of her bedroom door, he wondered when he'd become such a masochist.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Akatsuki No Yona_ ( :'( )

 **...**

It was strange to think that his entire life had led up to this moment.

That was the conclusion Hak had reached after five minutes spent slowly sinking lower and lower down the outside of her bedroom door, eyes shifting to peer down each side of the corridor out of sheer, impeccably trained habit. A rather peculiar, and somehow seemingly morbid conclusion, sure, but he found he was unable to disprove the notion once it had entered his mind nonetheless. An epiphany of sorts had dawned on him, cascading around him, whispering that everything he had ever done in life, every second he'd spent, every breath he'd taken, had led him to his current position.

All the creeps he'd fended off, the demeaningly domestic errands he'd run, the hours he'd spent listening to boring political dribble, the countless times he'd been forced to feign interest when approached with the castle's latest gossip. All of the winter afternoons locked away in her room by the fire, listening to seemingly endless complaints over unruly ruby hair and an even greater amount of worries over the object of her unrequited affections. Summers sweated away on the training grounds, frustrations rising and falling, fluctuating with each swipe of his spear, with every arrow fired. All the secret fantasies. All of the restraint.

Five years with the Princess. Five years of near constant companionship. Five years of loyalty. He couldn't decide if they had been the most torturous or wonderful years of his life. Perhaps they were both.

Maybe he was a masochist.

That was the only logical explanation as to why he would be guarding the door of the room currently accommodating the girl he loved and another man.

But not just any other man. _The_ other man. Her perfect prince, her childhood secret, her heart's one and only. Chivalrous, kind, well-groomed and gentle, Soo-Won was everything Hak wasn't. His rival, his role model, his future king. His best friend.

Kami, he really _was_ a masochist.

He hadn't always been this way, had he? When had things changed?

Perhaps it had been that first day five years ago, that fateful afternoon when Hak's life had been completely flipped upside down. It was a day he often found himself turning over in his mind, reliving, rehashing, prompting him to ponder over various "what ifs". What if he had never interfered with the advances of Kang Tae-Jun? Would he have still become the General? Her guard? Her friend? Could he have avoided a life as the king's dog? Would he have ended up back at the Wind tribe, waiting for Grandpa to bring news of the capital? Watching over Han-Dae and Tae-Woo? Some girl's boyfriend?

He shook his head. No, even if that was the day his fate had been hammered into stone, he remembered that he hadn't been very happy about the turn of events in the days following, suddenly shoved into the endless torrent of palace life. The months following that day had been angst-filled ones. When had that changed? When had he decided it was worth it?

" _You promise, don't you? You promise to always stay by my side?_

 _Hak?"_

Ah. So that was it.

His thoughts somehow always seemed to wind back to that night. A quiet summer slumber interrupted by the sound of thrashing emitting from the room he was supposed to be guarding. The blurred flash of ripping open the door, scanning the area for infiltrators, crazed eyes to match his shallow breaths. The princess sitting upright at the center of the suite, back ramrod straight and posture aggressively erect, tangled bedsheets surrounding her, filtered moonlight the only illuminator of the terror slowly draining out of her wide eyes. His own rigid panic gradually melting away as he began to comprehend the situation. _A dream._ The breeze trickling in from the hallway through the still-open chamber entrance. Just a dream. The distant sound of cicadas leaking in as he substituted the open door for a propped window. As he'd walked over to her bed. Wiped the lone tear from her cheek. Taken her hand into his own. Settled her back in the covers. Laid down beside her. Just a dream. Over and over he'd whispered it. Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.

" _As you wish, your majesty."_

The damned door was locked for Kami's sake, and the whole palace was drunk. There would be no threats to the Princess's safety tonight. Only a threat to her virtue, he thought darkly to himself, but that was one hazard her bodyguard was powerless to stop.

 _Threat to her virtue?_ How melodramatic. Hak wanted to roll his eyes at himself. It seemed all the wine had made him more poetic than usual.

Though he was hardly the only one a bit more off-kilter than usual. The faint sounds of drunken revelry echoing from the Great Hall reached even Yona's remote quarters, and Hak imagined the crass singing and jovial dancing no doubt still well-underway in the grand foyer. The Princess' eighteenth birthday celebration was an event that had been looked forward to for months; not only by dignified nobles and palace staff, but citizens across the land, as all of Kouka's provinces lit up with grand festivals, full of life and music and joy. Closing his eyes and leaning his head backwards, awareness that he may very well be the only man in the kingdom not engaging in blissful exuberation tonight crept up on him. Rather than drown his sorrows in alcohol, as he had intended to do, it seemed irony had other ideas. In a cruel twist, it appeared he had ended up drowning in his troubles, not the other way around...

...so _fucking_ melodramatic.

The Princess was no exception to the country's seemingly universal mood, and he remembered her, eyes wide with excitement and hands shaking with a near-undetectable hint of nervous anticipation, as she took her first sip of wine from a silver and pink chalice, ornately forged into the shape of a sakura tree. It had been a birthday gift from Su-Won. Eighteen years old today, Yona could finally legally drink. At long last, she had become a woman, and not even Su-Won could deny it. One sip. An almost imperceptible pursing of the lips at the strong, bitter taste of Kouka's finest. A moment spent admiring the chalice, rotating it around in her hands, running a finger over the delicate engraving of a cherry blossom. Another sip. Then another. He'd watched as her cheeks grew more and more flushed, her hair progressively tousled, her movements ever-so-slightly less graceful. Five glasses of wine. He doubted anyone else had noticed, besides perhaps Min-Soo, who had been tasked with refills. But Hak had noticed. Because he was her guard, of course. Because it was his job. But it wasn't Min-Soo's place to comment, and it wasn't Hak's either, and so he watched out of the corner of his eye, exchanging knowing glances with the kind servant boy each time he'd refilled Hak's own goblet. She'd held them remarkably well, he had to admit. Maybe those silly dance lessons had managed to hammer in some natural poise after all.

Somewhere around glass three-and-a-half, she'd leaned over to him, an innocuously languid smile across her lips, and murmured, "you're not on duty, you know."

His reply was delayed by the sudden, keen awareness of her breath on his earlobe, the sensation of a loose strand of rebellious hair brushing against his cheek. A second later when his mind cleared, he realized their sudden, disconcerting proximity was the result of the din of the dining hall, making anything but close-range conversation a near impossibility. Nevertheless, he leaned away just an inch, raising his voice just a fraction in order to compensate. "I am aware, your Majesty."

Hak felt rather than heard her tinkle of laughter vibrate in the air around them. "And yet you call me 'your Majesty'? Are you sure you're aware?"

The teasing glint in her eyes turned serious before Hak could respond. "Hak. You can call me Yona tonight."

His eyes widened before glaring at her with incredulity. "Princess, I may not be on duty, but I know my place."

"Your place is by my side, catering to my every whim," she retorted in a sing-song voice, attempting to goad him into engaging in their favorite pastime: a battle of barbs, a fencing match of teasing jibes and jeers. This kind of exchange was familiar, and was as easy to settle into as Hak's spear settled into his hand, so Yona's taunting veneer faltered when her taunt wasn't immediately met by a smirking retaliation of Hak's own. The black-haired boy seemed far away, his hooded eyes cast down at the table, staring unseeingly at the silver chalice occupying the space between their place settings.

" _You promise..._

 _...don't you?"_

He dug his hand into his pocket, locating the small leather cord and running his thumb over the stone carving attached to it, feeling the carefully etched grooves.

"Hak?"

At the sound of her voice his gaze suddenly shifted from the high table's woodwork to the throng of aristocrats milling below them, finally beginning to rise and mingle after course-after-course of gorging themselves on only the very best the Palace kitchens had to offer. But while surely her voice had triggered the shift in his line of vision, still he did not look at her.

The Princess' own gaze sombered. " _Hak_.

"Hak, I am aware of your place. Your duty is to me and you are bound to heed my every command. I know." At this, her eyes flicked to the crowd below and she took a deep breath, pausing for only a second before exhaling delicately as if she were a balloon deflating.

"And so tonight I release you from my side. I command you to go join them. Please."

She pressed on before he could protest, eyes peculiarly glassy as she tried to shift into his view, still steadfastly trained on the crowd below. "Please, Hak... enjoy yourself tonight."

A sigh escaped his lips. "Pri-"

"That's an order."

She pressed a hand against his arm. " _Go_."

At her fingers' touch finally he shifted his gaze sideways to her, smirk plastered wide, the usual glint in his eyes so bright and present she wondered if her eyes had just deceived her, if his mood had ever sobered at all.

"An order, you say, Princess? But I thought I wasn't on duty?"

Yona's face flushed bright red in indignation as she spluttered, "Wh- Hak-!"

"You said yourself I can do as I please tonight, so if you don't mind I think I'll choose to stay miserably by your side." At this, her guard leaned back in his seat, arms planted casually behind his head. Sensing the murderous intent beginning to seep from the woman beside him, he grabbed the chalice from the table and shoved it in her face, completely deadpan as he offered, "more wine?"

She glowered for a moment before snatching it in acceptance, then downed its contents with one swift tilt of her head.

Maybe it had been six glasses. Had Min-Soo come around to refill the wine while Hak's vision had been focused on the guests?

The invitations had begun pouring in after that, as the gutsiest attendees approached the Princess, requesting a dance or a walk around the castle grounds. This was not surprising, as the Princess' coming-of-age also represented a coming of courtship. It was not unlikely she would be married by year's end. Perhaps more surprising was the number of invitations received by the Princess' bodyguard, almost matching the amount collected by the birthday girl, although this feat was maybe not so surprising to anyone other than the two of them. Chatter of the fine young man the Wind General had grown into had been swirling around the kingdom for years, although the young warrior lived each day oblivious to his status as one of Kouka's most eligible bachelors. Only tales of his devotion to the Princess had kept the admirers at bay at previous social functions, but for some reason tonight was proving different. Hak's only clue as to the change came in the form of an overheard exchange between two young noblewomen huddled a mere ten feet away from his seat, furiously hissing at each other in a poor attempt to keep their voices down:

"-cess is of age today. Surely if there was truly something between them there would have been an official announcement by now."

"But perhaps it's an unrequited love! Or a secret one! Maybe Her Majesty _does_ care for him, but doesn't think he feels the same way…"

"If that's the case, she lost all claim she held over him the moment she agreed to dance with Jae-ha earlier."

Jae-ha. The Princess' first suitor of the night. In the four minutes that pervert had spent twirling the Princess around on the dance floor, Hak had thought of seventy six ways to incapacitate him.

"-ink _he's_ the one who's not interested in _her_. Look at the guy! If he really wanted her, she'd be his by now."

"Ayame-"

"If you don't go up to him now, I will."

"Aya-"

"Now!"

With an aggressively encouraging shove, the girl named Ayame had sent her friend stumbling very nearly into Hak's lap. She was the only girl he'd agreed to dance with all night, but Hak couldn't remember her name. He wasn't sure that he'd even asked. All he knew was that waltzing with her had done nothing to quell the burning that had flared in his chest minutes before.

" _Promise to always stay by side?"_

Maybe it _had_ been just a dream. He'd risen before her the next morning, and she'd never mentioned the incident again, nor had he asked what had prompted her to request the promise. He supposed he would never know.

Not now that she would surely be Su-Won's in the morning.

Again he reached into his pocket, this time pulling out the necklace to turn it over in his palms. He'd meant to give it to her before the night had ended, but it seemed he'd missed his chance.

Hak could swear that the instant she'd finished with one wooer, another was there to take his place. Only the sight of Kan Tae-Jun fast approaching had sent Yona back to her spot at the high table, raising a tired hand in the air to wave away the surge of men that followed her and issuing a call of "just five minutes!", smiling ever so endearingly through the fatigue.

Hak had snickered at the sight of it. "Your royal lessons have taught you much, Princess."

And just like that, her sweet demeanor had turned to one of indignant outrage, her raised hand balling suddenly into a menacing fist.

The older boy wrapped his own hand around her fist, completely encasing it within his palm, then lowered her arm down to her side, grinning all the while. "Although you're still yet to learn how to keep your temper in check, I see."

The Princess' face blushed crimson anew, and she cast her eyes down at the ground, head bowed in shame. "I…"

Hak felt heat rush to his own cheeks as he inwardly chastised himself. He had taken the mockery too far tonight, exhibiting his brazenly improper conduct in full display of the public eye. But even worse than his teasing was his carelessness. Though kidding around was their default behavior, tonight was not the occasion for it. Tonight was special. Her birthday.

He began to rack his brain for a proper apology, burying his hands into the folds of his coat. His eyebrows shot up when his fingers brushed the leather pendant.

 _Oh._

Suddenly nervous, Hak cleared his throat as he began to pull the piece of jewelry out. "Ah. Princess, forg-"

"Will you dance with me?"

 _Thunk._ The sound of the necklace falling back into its crevasse as he froze. Or maybe that was his heartbeat skidding to a halt in his chest. _What?_

Slowly, ever so slowly, Hak swiveled his head in her direction, only to find hers still bent forward, gaze determinedly fixated on the floor. Had he misheard?

"Princess…?"

...

"Will you?"

…

"It's not an order." _Only if you want to. It's okay if you say no._

 _Please, only if you want to._

 _'It's not an order?' 'You're not on duty, you know?'_ What was the Princess playing at? He could not hide his feelings behind his job tonight. She was asking for much more than just a dance.

Or was she? Was he thinking about this too much?

...

Abruptly aware of his mouth completely and utterly agape, Hak quickly snapped it shut. Gulped. Then, as if making certain his words had not abandoned him, he murmured a tentative, "Princess…"

She tilted her head to the right, raising her left ear as if to try to hear his response more clearly, although still she did not look at him.

…

"Hak?"

"Princess, I…

"I…

"I-

"I think Lord Su-Won is approaching."

He'd glimpsed only the briefest flash of _something_ in her indigo eyes as she'd whipped upwards to look at him- or was it to search for Su-Won?- before he'd turned and fled.

Now, studying the pendant in the light of the moon, it seemed nothing more than a cheap trinket compared with the mountain of beautiful gifts she had received throughout the night. The exquisite chalice flashed through Hak's mind- intricate, ornate, and in immaculate condition. His necklace's leather twine was crumpled from the many days it had spent neglected in his pocket since he'd purchased it on a rare solo trip to the market months ago, just a few weeks following _that_ night. Golden, glimmering topaz, carved meticulously into the shape of a dragon's head. A charm to drive away nightmares, and to bring sound sleep. At least, that's what the vendor had told him. Kami knew it was probably a scam.

Besides, she would have no use for it now if Su-Won was soon to be sleeping beside her.

The Princess' eighteenth birthday, and he had given her nothing.

No… there was one other gift he could offer her, and it was what she wanted more than anything else in the world.

Su-Won.

" _You promise, don't you?"_

Silly princess.

He would not be at her side tonight. He would not hear her cries.

He would gift her with her privacy. This, at least, was _something_ he could give to her.

He would not let himself be a masochist tonight.

That's what Hak told himself as he rose from the ground and began to leave. But perhaps there was some dissonance between the sounds in his head and the beat in his heart, because even as each step away from her door sent a new spike of pain throughout his body, a small smile played across his lips. And even as he reached the end of the corridor, turning to scan the hallway one last time, he allowed himself to whisper, "happy birthday, Princess Yona," into the dark.


End file.
